§ 34. Break down enumerations into parallel provisions. Put every list of subparts at the end of the sentence--never at the beginning or in the middle.
Revise the following paragraph to put the enumerated items in separate subparagraphs. At the same time, be sure that you don't create unnumbered dangling flush text.
7.7 Insurance. Borrower shall provide or cause to be provided the policies of insurance described in Exhibit I, together with such other policies of insurance as Lender may reasonably require from time to time. All insurance policies (i) shall be continuously maintained at Borrower's sole expense, (ii) shall be issued by insurers of recognized responsibility which are satisfactory to Lender, (iii) shall be in form, substance and amount satisfactory to Lender, (iv) with respect to liability insurance, shall name Lender as an additional insured, (v) shall provide that they cannot be canceled or modified without 60 days' prior written notice to Lender, and (vi) with respect to insurance covering damage to the Mortgaged Property, (A) shall name Lender as a mortgagee, (B) shall contain a "lender's loss payable" endorsement in form and substance satisfactory to Lender, and (C) shall contain an agreed value clause sufficient to eliminate any risk of coinsurance. Borrower shall deliver or cause to be delivered to Lender, from time to time at Lender's request, originals or copies of such policies or certificates evidencing the same.
Revise the following passage to cure the left-branching problem:
If at any time the Federal Energy Regulatory Commission should disallow the inclusion in its jurisdictional cost of gas, cost of service, or rate base any portion of the cost incurred because of this gas purchase or the full amount of any costs incurred by Buyer for any field services or facilities with respect to any well subject hereto, whether arising from any term or provision in this Agreement or otherwise, including but not limited to price and price adjustments, the prices provided for herein, then Seller agrees that the price will be reduced to the maximum price for gas hereunder which the Federal Energy Regulatory Commission will allow Buyer to include in its jurisdictional cost of gas, cost of service, or rate base and Seller shall promptly refund with interest all prior payments for gas purchased hereunder which exceed the amount Buyer is permitted to include in said cost of gas, cost of service, or rate base.
In a contract formbook, find a 200-plus-word paragraph that contains a series of romanettes (i, ii, iii). Rewrite the paragraph to set off the listed items, and make any other edits that improve the style without affecting the meaning. If you're part of a writing group or class, bring a copy of the before-and-after versions for each colleague. Be prepared to discuss your edits.
© 2001, Bryan A. Garner
These exercises appear in Bryan A. Garner's Legal Writing in Plain English: A Text with Exercises, published by The University of Chicago Press and available at bookstores and on the Web at www.press.uchicago.edu.