§ 5. Omit needless words.

Exercises

Basic

Delete at least four consecutive words in the following sentences, replace those words with just one word. You may rephrase ideas and rearrange sentences, but don't change the meaning.

Intermediate

Revise the following sentences to make them as lean as you can without changing the meaning:

Advanced

Rewrite the following 193-word paragraph in fewer than 130 words without changing the meaning:

In addition to the two cases cited just above, both (as mentioned) dealing with the California State Bar Rules of Conduct, Rule 3-310 of the California State Bar Rules of Professional Conduct describes circumstances in which an attorney is embroiled in the representation of adverse interests. Rule 3-310 is concerned primarily with situations in which the attorney's duty of loyalty and duty of confidentiality to clients are called into question. Therefore, to date, there are no Rule 3-310 cases disqualifying a district attorney as a result of a prosecution of an individual whom the district attorney used or is used as a witness in another prosecution. Most cases that involve district-attorney conflicts under Rule 3-310 consist of a former attorney-client relationship between an accused and a district attorney. In such cases, the rule serves to protect an accused from a prosecution in which a district attorney unfairly benefits from information gained during the course of his or her representation of the accused. Other Rule 3-310 cases involve overzealous prosecutions in cases where a district attorney is for one reason or another personally or emotionally interested in the prosecution of the accused.

        or

Find a wordy sentence that you can reliably cut in half without changing the meaning. Cut it. If you're a member of a writing group or class, bring a copy of the before-and-after versions for each colleague.


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